Happy Birthday to My Lizzy Bear

A Short Biography of Elizabeth Charlotte Brown Kartchner,

as told by Collin Danger Kartchner

1995: I met Liz sophomore year of high school. I was standing in the commons with friends, in my Ocean Pacific shirt, listening to the new Toad the Wet Sprocket CD on my Discman, wearing my puka shell necklace no doubt....putting out the vibe. Suddenly, the door swung open, and in walked this drop dead gorgeous freshman. She had massive bangs, a HUGE smile that looked like Chicklets, and knobby knees that sent chills from my head all the way down to my Doc Marten sandals.

I asked her out to Homecoming 1996, our/her first date ever. I saved up my hard earned parents credit card, went to the mall, and picked me up this fine get-up. Leather braided belt, thick black corduroy pants, some sweet new suspendies, and of course....Carmex.
We hit the dance floor, busted some catwalking during the "I'm Too Sexy" song, and then the first slow dance...."Lady in Red". Ohhhhhh I sang that song in your ear like Marvin Gaye and you laughed. And then that one girl (Something Covey) stopped us in the middle of the slow dance and said, "You guys make a really cute couple".

Jackpot.

Then it was time to take you home. It was late, and I was driving my dad's new car and felt like Don Johnson, minus the huarache sandals. I was so enthralled in your beauty that I came to a complete stop at the green light by the MTC. Liz looked up and said, "Hey cowboy, it's green."

That's when I said, "By golly I will marry this girl one day."

And I did.

My Wild Stallion.

Happy Birthday to the most loving, beautiful, caring, supportive, fun, laugh-at-all-my-stupid-jokes person in the entire world.

My Lizzy Bear.