THAT'S the guy everyone of my breed has been compared to over the past year? THAT is the guy whose name women across the world have been screaming in their sleep? THAT is the guy my wife probably wishes I was more like!! TEEN WOLF??
I'm sorry. I have to get something off my tan hairless muscular mortal chest.
Liz talked me into going to see this flick last night and all I can say is I am even more at a loss with understanding the female kind. Was it supposed to be a comedy? Because I was laughing (inside and out) the entire time. I even asked the theater ushers if someone was microwaving a quesadilla, because I smelt cheese...lots of cheese.
Let's talk about Dad Cullen first. Wasn't that "Mike Dexter", the bully jock from Can't Hardly Wait?! Wasn't this guy supposed to be like 45 years old? Is is weird that the dad looked younger than his sprouts? Was there a reason he had 12 pounds of white powder on his face? Every time he talked I laughed.
And oh, let's talk about Bella. Where did she learn to act? Awkward School? That scene at the end when she's like, "This is the life I choose. I want to be a vampire" and then she leans her head back for Edward to bite her neck...and he goes in for the jugular...and then BAM!! Dramatic turn!!! He kisses her neck instead!!! PSYYYYYYYCHE!!!
What about the tree climbing scene? What. The. Heck. I never knew that Vampires were descendants of flying squirrels.
...and Edward? Oh, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie...?estas seriouso? I know they were going for the butt-white look, but I didn't think they were going for the butt-ugly look, too. Either way, he nailed both. His arms looked like he just got full-length casts cut off that were on there for 6 months...you know what I'm talking about? Your arm are limp, your arm hair is nasty black and smells like death. And that chest hair? Either shave it or grow it out but don't do the '2 week shadow'.
There were 2 parts I did enjoy. The previews, and the End credits. Other than that...I will be sleeping soundly tonight as well as every other boyfriend/husband should...
Men, he's got nuthin on us.