Friday, July 29, 2011

Happy Birthday Mr Kartchner!

Thirty one years ago God knew exactly what this world needed... so he put together the perfect combination of funny, caring and handsome (and threw in a dimple) to make Collin!
It's unfair to to leave out his other incredible qualities... especially on his birthday... but here's more proof of the funny bones that fill his body.

(Recent Facebook updates)
If I'm talking to someone and they're looking at their phone like normal people do, then all the sudden they "look up" and "make eye contact" with me, what do I do then? Help me out, guys.

In hell, the lights are off and you have to walk barefoot over a floor covered in your kid's Legos.

Besides being forced to smell Rush Limbaugh's radio chair seat cushion, what is your biggest fear?

Tempurpedic seems like the mattress brand of choice if you're married to a glass of wine.

I can't believe I spent 7 years writing the perfect song, only to find out someone already used the lyrics, "Chickity China, the Chinese Chicken" :(

Sometimes when I'm busy coloring at a crowded airport while CNBC is on the TV, I put my crayons down, look at the screen and yell, "Extrapolate!" just to look really smart.

I just saw a bumper sticker that said, "R.I.P America, 1776-2009" and now I'm sitting here crying cuz I didn't know America was even sick.

I'm still picking dried pieces of LA Looks Mega-Hold out of my hair from 5th grade.

I'm a pretty easy-going guy, until you challenge me to an underwater handstand contest. Then, I don't freaking mess around.

I get nervous around venomous snakes and people with extremely square jaw-lines.

I've spent that last 14 years in fear that the rhythm is gonna get me.

You'll never have to worry about me telling people to put they hands in da air.

Whenever the grocery store cashier asks, "Find what you needed?" I pull a worn picture of Yanni from my pocket and sigh, "Not everything."

If you wish, you should friend request him on Facebook since tragically he's not on twitter anymore.
Happy Birthday Coll! xoxo

47 comments:

Sheila said...

Happy Birthday to a very special family man. You are so right God added special sprinkles on Collin. I facebook friend requested him because I could sure use some of his happy,happy,joy,joy comments on a daily basis. All the best for an even happier year.

Charity said...

Happy Birthday to Lizzy's man!
I love when you post all his random bits of wisdom :)

Theresa Smith said...

Happy Happy Birthday Collin! You seem to be the perfect man!! :-) Enjoy your day.

Karin said...

Happy B-Day Collin! God keeps blessing you and your family with your funny bone ;)

Livyb said...

Ok, those fb quotes are priceless. Funny and handsome...with a dimple? You are a lucky lady! Thanks for sharing the laughs. Happy birthday to your husband!

elizabeth kartchner said...

Thanks everyone! I'll pass along the birthday wishes. :)

Tiffany said...

Happy birthday Collin! I so miss your funny tweets..so I may just have to add you on FB. Because they cracked me and my man up! Hope you have a great bday!

Renee Zwirek said...

Happy Birthday, Collin! You are such a funny guy!

Ann Marie said...

I have spit many a drink on my keyboard reading Collin's posts ... they are hilarious and always make me smile. Happy Birthday Collin!

Kim Woods said...

Thank you for sharing his humor! He totally cracks me up then I read what he's posted on facebook to my husband and he cracks up too :) You are blessed, but I know you know that!

urbanrhetoric said...

i just HAD to comment...he seems to be quite hilarious.

~p

Liette alias Pixelle said...

bonne fĂȘte and happy birthday to your lovely husband...xxx

Ali Garrett said...

Happy 31 birthday Collin. I love Lizzy's blog posts but have to say its an extra treat when U hijack the blog

alicia king said...

happy birthday to your hilarious husband!

Beatriz said...

Happy birthday! And congratulations to you 2, you are a very sweet funny couple!
XO

Meghan said...

Happy Birthday Collin!

♥Lizzy said...

Happy Birthday, Collin! 'R.I.P. America' is still one of my fave tweets EVER!

Sara Ancich said...

Collin's Facebook posts are often my most embarrassing moments of the day... I'm found laughing at the computer screen in a room alone. I bet there's never a dull moment in that house of yours Liz!!

sassy said...

happy day mr K what is a Yanni?

Kim Hartmann said...

Hope he had a great birthday. You both are seriously blessed to have each other. Great part is, you already know that. I went ahead and FB requested so as not to seem rude, I wouldn't want him to feel unloved by the public, especially on his birthday. ;P

Lacey said...

Happy Birthday Collin!! I'm sure you keep your loved ones and friends on their toes with your great humor. Hope you had a fantastic weekend :) Best wishes!

♡ Ambrosia said...

Collins birthday has come and gone...hope it was fantastic and super blessed!

kerry Stong said...

Happy Birthday Collin! Thanks for Sharing those Liz...Funny Funny Stuff! Why no more Twitter??

Jessica said...

Ohhh wow! You've really got yourself a "WINNER"!! Smokin' hot, funny, and can dress nicely! You can't beat that!!! Does he have a brother? lol! ;) Happy Birthday! What a fun post, TFS! Hope you all have a FABULOUS day!!

Sweet Spark said...

Happy birthday Collin!
It´s my birthday too so next year I won`t forget!
Best wishes!
Ana

HeatherOz said...

Happy Birthday Mr. K!

nancy said...

Holy crap, he's funny! Happy Birthday!

fafuna said...

Awwwww..... I LOVE your birthday posts! They are the BEST!!
Happy birthday, Collin!

China Doll said...

Happy birthday Collin!

lou thompson said...

i love collin's tweets...can be reading along following tweets about crafting, jesus or tidbits about teenagers and suddenly collin kartchner jumps up and makes me laugh out loud...so loud i am then hiccuping and peeing in my pants. truly. RIP collin's tweets. please come back collin, please!!!!

Dayami said...

ROTFLOL!!! Happy Birthday!!! May God bless you with 200 more years of happiness and fun! Yes, I'll friend request him on Facebook.
Hugs :)

Michelle Guzman said...

Your husband is genius. Haha! So funny.

Collin said...

Thanks everyone! I feel so special, even though Google says over 68 million humans share the same birthday as me :(

Traveling Mama said...

Happy Birthday to Collin! Hope you guys had a blast celebrating!

Lisa said...

Ya'll are so funny! Glad God has blessed you BOTH! Happy Birthday to your hubs and has anyone ever said he looks like Matthew McConaughey?? Well, I think so :-)
God bless you both and have a wonderful day!!
Lisa

keeshaobrien said...

Happy Happy Birthday! Miss your funny posts on Twitter, will have to check you out on facebook!

Mindy said...

happy birthday collin!
i do miss you on the twitter.. maybe that's why i don't go there anymore?

Michelle Burry said...

Belated birthday wishes to you, Collin! (And, a big "Thank you!" to both you and Liz for sharing that incredible sense of humor with the world! :)

Jennifer DeWolfe said...

A very happy birthday to a very funny guy!

Michelle said...

I don't think I've laughed this hard in a long time!! I'm sending a friend request...ASAP!!! Happy belated birthday!!

Julie {CalleLillyCafe} said...

Happy Birthday to your hubby! Sorry to hear about the Twitter deal. ha! his posts were funny! Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy.

vickiboutin said...

Happy Belated birthday, Funny Man!!!

Heather :: AFD Jewelry :: said...

Oh my gosh - those had me (literally) laughing out loud!

We are... said...

Those are more hillarious than Jack Handy's Deep Thoughts. Thank you.

patty said...

happy b-day to what seems to be a generally happy guy!

Amyables said...

Oh, Lizzy, I had a LONG day. . . and I needed a belly laugh. Thank your hubs for me. . . these status updates are beyond awesome.

Mique said...

As I was reading through the FB updates- I realized that I hadn't seen anything from Collin in my Twitter stream for awhile. CRYING SHAME. That guy cracks me up.
All time fave was last yr for Pioneer Day (something like):
Today is the day we remember that if the Pioneers would've kept walking for 300 more miles, we would all be living in San Diego. (totally not doing it justice...but still)
Why did he end the Twitter?